Category: Atheism and Religion

This time PZ Myers has gone too far!

Yeah, it’s been a few months since the last time I put up a blog post promising it wouldn’t be a few months before my next one, but today while reading a blog I normally enjoy, I read something so horrendous that I was inspired to finally try to remember my password to log on to this here site and post something to express my outrage.

PZ Myers, biologist and outspoken opponent of things superstitious, today for the first time since I’ve been reading his blog made a statement that deeply offended me. I am thoroughly outraged.

He writes:

Not only are the paladins of evolution handsomer, wittier, more charming, and with a deeper grasp of the truth than the orc-like hordes of creationism, but even our ancillary skills are wielded with more effortless panache than our opponents’ primary talents.

Yes, he actually wrote that, and apparently stands by it since it’s still right there for anyone to read. I thought long and hard about just how to reply to this… this disgusting piece, and finally realized that I’m just not qualified to address it in the way it truly deserves.

But I know someone who is.

I mailed a link to Prof. Myers’ screed to an acquaintance. As this screen grab from our webcam chat shows, he was quite visibly disturbed upon reading it.

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After he composed himself, I offered to let him use my highly trafficked (my wife looked at it at least twice in 2008… once without me leaving it up on her screen!) blog to issue a reply. So without further ado, please welcome my first ever guest blogger, Kerschplat the Uruk Blackarrow.

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Thank to Don for letting use of blog space. Apologize for bad human words – Kerschplat usually eat people, not talk them.

Kerschplat angry today when read hairy science man compare orcs to creationists. Angry long time, then hurt – even cry little – then angry again. Angry feel more natural.

Orcs not have problem with Theory of Evolution. Easy to believe complex organism crawl out of slime – Kerschplat himself crawl out of slime every morning, then go looking for complex organism to squash and eat. Kerschplat live simple and honest life – he disagree someone, he not make up fact or ignore evidence to support argument – he shoot opponent in back, fair and square.

Kerschplat still too angry for eloquent waxiness in reply, so simply say this: Me demand PZ Myers to issue public apologizing to orc kind – included goblins – for slanderous remark. If no say sorry, Kerschplat not afraid to call on evil forces from darkest depths of underworld: lawyers. If PZ not sorrying, Kerschplat take legal action. Maybe get free camera.

Since have attention, Kerschplat do little self-promotion. Am something of artist – squeeze fluids from fallen foes for paint colors – and make picture of early aquatic life frolick near shoreline before emerge onto land. Attach below – please to give feedback in comments. Kerschplat open to critcism so for people who say bad things, Kerschplat do honorable thing and not use slow, painful kill method.

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Thank muchness,
Kerschplat

There you have it, an emotional reply from someone to whom this grievous insult was directly… uh… directed. Stick that wafer into your fiery pit of despair and smoke it, Myers!

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(Yes, I truly am a master of Photoshop!)

Should’ve tried water-to-wine instead

Those African Christians sure do seem to be a devout bunch, making a name for themselves through amusing escapades such as getting lost at sea on a balloon chair for God or the persecution of accused child witches.

Not to be outdone by Balloon Boy, one Franck Kabele, apparent recipient of a vision from God informing him it was time to go out and perform a miracle, led his congregation to a beach and told them he was going to walk on water.

Astute readers will probably already see where this is going.

So Mr. Kabele strolled out into an estuary, brimming with his love and faith in Christ… and drowned.

(This piece of news dates back to 2006, but for some reason has been making the rounds in the last week or so. Maybe his followers have finally tired of waiting for him to come back from the dead?)

Want something a little more recent? Check out http://www.paliban.org, a new site spoofing those whose belief system might be frighteningly similar to that of our former potential vice-president.

Introducing SkeptiQuote

I’ve noticed lately after looking at a lot of blog and content management packages that random Bible quote plugins are widely available, but I couldn’t find anything equivalent for skeptical sorts like me – so I made my own.

It’s called SkepiQuote, and it’s currently available as a simple WordPress widget, though versions for other packages are planned. It picks randomly from a selection of quotes stolen borrowed with permission from The Skeptic’s Annotated Bible.

From the readme file (typos and all… grrr):

SkeptiQuote WordPress Plugin
@2008 by Don Lloyd
Version 1.0

Updates and variations will be found at http://www.drl2.com/blog/?cat=8

Tested on WordPress 2.5 and 2.6.3

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I’ve been tinkering with various blog and CMS packages lately and noticed that almost every one of them has an available plugin that displays random quotes from the Bible and/or other holy books. Unfortunately there was nothing for those of us of a more skeptical bent, so I decided to create one to exercise some long-atrophied PHP muscles (I’ve been stuck in the .NET world since PHP 3 was new) and to get a little familiar with the world of plugin creation.

The included quote file is built from a collection gathered from the Bible, the Quran, and the Book of Mormon by Steve Wells of The Skeptic’s Annotated Bible (http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/) and highlight some of the… let’s call them unsavory aspects of those tomes.

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INSTALLATION: Just put the SkeptiQuote directory into your WordPress plugins folder, then activate the plugin and place the widget via the WP management console just as you would any other widget. Check the WordPress site for widget install instructions if you’re unfamiliar with the process.

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This software comes with no warranty, guarantee, assurance, promise, or suggestion of stability, functionality, or magical powers. It comes only with the statement that it’s worked for me so far.

Feel free to use and abuse SkeptiQuote any way you want. Setting it up as a generic random quote engine is easy – just follow the instructions in quotes.php to add your own text.

I do have a couple of requests of anyone who uses this:

– If you keep the supplied quotes, please keep the links to http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/ intact – Steve undoubtedly put a lot more work into collecting those quotes than I did in stealing them (with premission) from javascript files on his site.

– If your site is related to skepticism, atheism, etc., a link to my blog (http://www.drl2.com/blog) would be a nice gesture… I don’t have nearly enough people showing up to batter my fragile ego by disagreeing with me!

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TO(possibly sometime eventually if the mood strikes)DO list:

– Implement some more advanced formatting capabilities such as optional category/source name display (quotes.php is built with separate sources already in anticipation of this)
– It strikes me as rather inefficient to load in a huge list of quotes every time the code is run; would be better to pick a number then randomly access the quotes file to find the corresponding line. Need to think about how to do this without compromising easy end-user quote editability.
– Add an optional refresh or “next quote” type button and Ajax-ify the refresh.

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Versions of SkeptiQuote for other CMS., etc. packages are planned. Check http://www.drl2.com/blog/?cat=8 for the latest.

Download SkeptiQuote here in whichever file format you prefer:

SkeptiQuote Widget .tar.gz file

SkeptiQuote Widget ZIP file

Look up in the top right corner of this page to see the widget in action!

This is real persecution

There’s a vocal subset of American Christians who delight in whining about an imaginary “War on Christmas” and proclaiming that “militant atheists” are waging a battle to outlaw their beliefs. From the depths of their persecution syndrome they’re unable to see that what they’re really complaining about is that they don’t have free reign to force their nonsense on everybody else (we have nonsense enough of our own to deal with already, thankyouverymuch).

I’d like to suggest that these folks look to recent events in India for a taste of what real persecution is like. Hindu extremists have driven more than 50,000 Christians from their homes, killed dozens at least, and forced many conversions at knife- or gun-point.

All because two groups of people disagree on which variety of invisible magician to believe in.

This sort of action is unforgivable, whether it’s done in the name of Ganesh or Allah or Jehovah or Odin or no god at all, no matter what religious or ethnic group is the target.

“This is what’s coming to America!” will argue the craziest of the conspiracy theists (a phrase which I hope I’ve just coined for the first time, because I really like the way it sounds and would like to take credit for it!), their heads filled with visions of demonic atheist hordes herding believers into forced abortion camps. Never mind that we live in a nation where it’s nearly impossible (and, in fact, illegal in several states) for an atheist to hold political office, and many elections for the highest positions in the land have boiled down to who can squeeze God into the most speeches.

These last 8 years under Bushevism have driven home the lesson that “it could never happen here” is a short-sighted statement, so I won’t say it here. But it’s clear that we’re a long, long way from becoming a society that would allow real persecution of Christians. On the flip side, we have politicians openly seeking endorsements from vocal anti-semites who celebrate the Holocaust, open rejection of the idea of a Muslim (or someone whose name sounds Islamic) holding public office, bad actors turned bad pundits suggesting atheists should be tattooed for identification, and even a former president making the claim that atheists are neither citizens nor patriots.

As an American atheist I don’t feel persecuted – certainly not in comparison to what’s going on in India – but if violence of that sort does come to this country, I can make an educated guess at who the targets might be.

God is the solution to our financial woes. No, really.

Well, God’s money, that is.

It seems that a bunch of ministers have decided risk losing their tax exempt status by endorsing a political candidate in a move they’ve dubbed Pulpit Freedom Sunday. Apparently the idea of church-state separation has been completely lost on these people (not that I’m shocked in the slightest).

Someone will have to challenge this action, of course, or political endorsements by religious organizations will become commonplace – as if they weren’t already, though now only in slightly-less-subtle-than-a-blow-to-the head, “unofficial” ways – and the challengers will of course be painted as evil god-hating pagan atheist devil-worshiping liberals who are waging a war on Christmas and want to outlaw Christianity, but hey, we alleged servants of Satan get that all the time anyway.

The thought of churches losing their tax exempt status over this is a pleasant one, though. Let ’em endorse all they want, but they’ve got to pay taxes. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if many of our financial problems couldn’t be solved by simply dropping those religious tax exemptions altogether. The down side would be of course that many of the charitable services provided by churches – soup kitchens, shelters, etc – might suffer, but there’s certainly no reason that such services couldn’t be moved to secular non-profit organizations that would retain their tax breaks.

I wanted to look into this matter a bit more, but recent, comprehensive statistics on church income seem to be sparse. I did find a report claiming that evangelicals in the US collected approximately 2.66 trillion dollars of income in 2000. That’s a figure that has probably risen since then, and leaves out, one would assume, the Catholic church, thousands of non-evangelical Christians, and organizations of the Jewish and Muslim faiths, as well as all the other groups out there who collect donations in support of mythological figures.

Taxing this income could pay for the entire Iraq war in only a few years, so our children and grandchildren (and so on) don’t have to. It would provide a vast new source of wealth for improving infrastructure, addressing health care costs, improving education, etc – in short, it could be put to much better use in improving the quality of life for all Americans than it currently does. Of course, a few preachers might have to sell their Jaguars.

I’m aware that barring some awesome breakthrough in anti-aging science, there won’t be an America within my lifetime with the political will to even try this. I suppose I could hope that, instead, these organizations could back up their tremendous electoral influence through the pushing of issues and platforms and all-but-open candidate endorsements by actually ponying up some cash to help pay for the actions our elected officials take in their names… but that, of course, would be asking for a bit too much of that personal responsibility stuff that the right-wingers always want everybody else to take.

Poe or No?

Rationalwiki defines Poe’s law thusly:

Poe’s Law states:

Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won’t mistake for the real thing.

Someone has put up a web site called AntiSpore to protest the new game in which players create life forms which evolve over time – apparently the idea that it embraces evolution and the fact that it’s technically possible to build creatures with appendages that resemble human genitalia is an affront to God and Christians everywhere.

This entire game is propaganda aimed directly at our children to teach them evolution instead of creationism, or “intelligent design” if you go for stupid PC terms.

The object of the game is to evolve from a “spore” into demon-like intelligent space creatures that violently take over the galaxy.

I can’t decide whether this site is for real, or just somebody having a little Poe-inspired fun.

Still Around

Haven’t posted in a while despite the abundance of free time caused by my current state of unemployment in a stagnant market. There’s certainly been no shortage of material, what with the political conventions going on, but even the Palin mess hasn’t really inspired me to the requisite levels of cynicism and sarcasm to actually write something down.

So lieu of another collection of bad metaphors and worse puns from me, I present for your entertainment Mark Fiore’s Latest Cartoon.

Oh, and Roy Zimmerman – whose Delaware performance I sadly missed due to some last-minute babysitter issues – has a new song about McCain’s VP nomination:

The Righteous, Behaving Badly – Again

… and by “behaving badly”, I don’t mean “being gay”, I mean “being hypocrites”, and not the ancient Greek doctor guy, either.

Yes, it seems that another Republican anti-gay crusader has been exposed as – you guessed it – gay. The “It’s a sin unless it’s me” party has a rather sordid recent history in that regards.

The alleged perpetrator this time is Alabama Attorney General Troy King, who it seems was caught in bed with his male lover by his wife. It’s all rumor at this point, of course, but Troy has not publically addressed the issue yet and there is rampant speculation that he’ll resign over the brewing scandal.

Is there anyone in the Grond Ole Homophobic Party who doesn’t have a gay lover?