From the Dept. of Things I Never Thought I’d Say

As uncomfortable as it is to find myself in something resembling agreement with the fundamentalist-nutjob Jack Thompson/Family Research Council types, I’ll have to give credit where it’s due: even though the “Left Behind” game I mentioned in my last entry is Christian-themed, these groups have strongly and apparently almost universally denounced it. It seems they’ve decided that violence is violence, even when it’s done in the name of that big invisible overlord of theirs. Perhaps that sort of violence is even worse than the run-of-the-mill non-denominational kind, at least when it’s confined to video games.

Just in case anyone besides the search engine bots has noticed that I haven’t posted anything lately, I’ll offer my explanation: I’m in the process of training my replacement at one client site in preparation for my move to a new one on monday. That, plus children’s birthdays, sick family members, and the desire to get outside once in a while have been absorbing my time. Hopefully in the next couple of weeks, things will settle down into a pseudo-routine.

Praise th’ Lawd and Pass th’ Ammunition!

Coming in time for this year’s holiday season is Left Behind: Eternal Forces, a new strategy wargame with a twist: you’re a Christian leading your forces against the infidels, and in the loving, charitable spirit of Christianity, your goal is to kill anyone who won’t convert. Shouting “Praise the lord!” as you smite your enemies, you march down the streets of New York City amid the rotting corpses of the impure.

Violence in video games is of course, nothing new, and games with a religious slant have been around too, though they’re seldom of the high-profile, mainstream variety. I’m not one who’s inclined to believe that video-game violence is responsible for all the ills of our society, but I am one of those who gets a bit disgusted when I see parents buying a copy of Grand Theft Auto for their 8 year old. But I’m wondering how this game will play among the “Focus on Family” type wannabe Taliban-for-Jesus groups who regularly condemn any sort of imaginary violence that might somehow, someday, have an effect on straight white male Christians. Will they defend this game? Will they condemn it for its violence in spite of its religious background? Or will they, as they’ve done so far, continue to remain silent on the subject, realizing that to open their mouths in favor of either solution might cause the public to smell the hypocracy on their breath?

Now, in defense of LB:EF, it does also allow you to play as the bad guys. In the guise of Satan, I suppose, or one of his earthly minions, you’re able to raise demons to fight against the armies of light. Demons which one would presume to be some combination of gay, jewish, liberal, or muslim – you know, to make them really seem frightening and evil to the target audience.

What ratchets up the fright level about this game for me is that it is apparently being backed and promoted by one of those mega-churches. You know, the ones where the preacher flies into town in his private jet, climbs out of his limo, enters a packed arena-sized building, and delivers a sermon to thousands (or millions, live via satellite, or send $29.95 plus shipping for a copy of the DVD!) about how Christianity is under attack in America?

The marketing plan? Send free evaluation copies to churches all over the country. Yes, to Christians nationwide, the message will be clear: Thou Shalt Not Kill, Unless the Victim’s Dogma Differs from Yours.

I described the game to a co-worker who’s big on making bible-based moral stands while he’s not busy surfing the net for porn, a guy who can’t be made to see the little ™ sign alongside the phrases “War on Christianity” or “War on Christmas”.

His reaction to the game? “Good! It’s a counter to all those other games!”

“Other games?” I asked. “You mean ones where the goal is to kill Christians?”

“Yeah, those!”

“Like which one?”

[Sound of crickets chirping]

“Well, I don’t know, but they’re coming!”

At first I wrote his response off as run-of-the-mill paranoia, but the more I though about it, the more I realized he was right. Now that the far-right lunatic fringe of the bible-thumper set has opened the floodgate of kill-the-infidel gaming, what’s to stop the violence-endorsing sects of other faiths from creating wargames of their own?

Many more details on LB:EF are available in Part 1 and Part 2 of an article by Jonathan Hutson.

And no, there’s no word yet on whether the Holy Handgrenade will be available in-game.