The Catholic League, the organization most famous for lending false credibility to Bill Donohue by putting him on TV a lot, has announced a new “Adopt an Atheist” program in hopes of helping atheists “uncover their inner self” so that they “may come to understand that they were Christian all along.” (Just so you know, Bill, when you’re “working with them“, you need to “uncover their inner selves“, not “self” … unless your theology proposes that atheists are all avatars of one person somewhere in, say, Schenectady. And I can’t prove we’re not, so it must be true.)
I know, I shouldn’t be harping on your grammar, Bill. It’s impolite to nitpick. especially when someone is expressing such heartfelt concern for my well-being:
If we hurry, these closeted Christians can celebrate Christmas like the rest of us. As an added bonus, they will no longer be looked upon as people who “believe in nothing, stand for nothing and are good for nothing.”
I really appreciate the offer, Bill. So much that I’m going to use the contact form on your site to volunteer to be an adoptee. But I won’t stop there – I’m going to tell all my heathen friends about your program so they can take advantage of it too! After all, there are lots of us who aren’t members of American Atheists, the organization you’re targeting, who might miss out if somebody doesn’t let them know about this opportunity!
So I’ve just submitted the following request:
For some reason it didn’t like my response to the verification question at the bottom, so I gave a secular answer, and it worked. You might want to fix that, Bill.
(I’m not sure if my submission worked – the site just reverted to the same page with an empty form. Maybe Jesus told their server to reject me?)
Excellent! Love the reply, Don. I too want to be adopted. Let the fun begin!