Yeah, it’s been a few months since the last time I put up a blog post promising it wouldn’t be a few months before my next one, but today while reading a blog I normally enjoy, I read something so horrendous that I was inspired to finally try to remember my password to log on to this here site and post something to express my outrage.
PZ Myers, biologist and outspoken opponent of things superstitious, today for the first time since I’ve been reading his blog made a statement that deeply offended me. I am thoroughly outraged.
He writes:
Not only are the paladins of evolution handsomer, wittier, more charming, and with a deeper grasp of the truth than the orc-like hordes of creationism, but even our ancillary skills are wielded with more effortless panache than our opponents’ primary talents.
Yes, he actually wrote that, and apparently stands by it since it’s still right there for anyone to read. I thought long and hard about just how to reply to this… this disgusting piece, and finally realized that I’m just not qualified to address it in the way it truly deserves.
But I know someone who is.
I mailed a link to Prof. Myers’ screed to an acquaintance. As this screen grab from our webcam chat shows, he was quite visibly disturbed upon reading it.
After he composed himself, I offered to let him use my highly trafficked (my wife looked at it at least twice in 2008… once without me leaving it up on her screen!) blog to issue a reply. So without further ado, please welcome my first ever guest blogger, Kerschplat the Uruk Blackarrow.
Thank to Don for letting use of blog space. Apologize for bad human words – Kerschplat usually eat people, not talk them.
Kerschplat angry today when read hairy science man compare orcs to creationists. Angry long time, then hurt – even cry little – then angry again. Angry feel more natural.
Orcs not have problem with Theory of Evolution. Easy to believe complex organism crawl out of slime – Kerschplat himself crawl out of slime every morning, then go looking for complex organism to squash and eat. Kerschplat live simple and honest life – he disagree someone, he not make up fact or ignore evidence to support argument – he shoot opponent in back, fair and square.
Kerschplat still too angry for eloquent waxiness in reply, so simply say this: Me demand PZ Myers to issue public apologizing to orc kind – included goblins – for slanderous remark. If no say sorry, Kerschplat not afraid to call on evil forces from darkest depths of underworld: lawyers. If PZ not sorrying, Kerschplat take legal action. Maybe get free camera.
Since have attention, Kerschplat do little self-promotion. Am something of artist – squeeze fluids from fallen foes for paint colors – and make picture of early aquatic life frolick near shoreline before emerge onto land. Attach below – please to give feedback in comments. Kerschplat open to critcism so for people who say bad things, Kerschplat do honorable thing and not use slow, painful kill method.
Thank muchness,
Kerschplat
There you have it, an emotional reply from someone to whom this grievous insult was directly… uh… directed. Stick that wafer into your fiery pit of despair and smoke it, Myers!
(Yes, I truly am a master of Photoshop!)